Darts on the Map

When I tell people that we are adopting our kids, I get one of two responses. The first is "bless your heart" (or sometimes "you are so sweet," which is confusing.) The other is "where from?"

We don't know, at the moment.

We know where we would like to go; we just don't know where we are supposed to go first.

Weirdly enough, Brandon is the one who is a little less cautious on this topic at the moment. His attitude is basically "pick one." And I am the one more hesitant to do that. I want to be 100% certain that we are heading in the right direction the direction that we are supposed to go. I don't want doubts or second thoughts and I want to minimize the potential heartbreak, to be honest.

There are several places we are interested in adopting from. My heart feels like it is being pulled in many directions. The issue is figuring out what we are supposed to do first. There are definitely some top contenders, though. Here's a little bit about them.

The United States

I'm not interested in being the parent of a newborn. If our first child "comes from" around here, it will be a foster care adoption. I have worked with foster kids at the library and volunteering with a group home in the area. I care about these kids. I hate the fact that they're often forgotten- especially the older kids. I think that at least one of our kids will be adopted from foster care. We're just not sure if the first one will be, at this point. One thing to consider would be our preferred age group. Brandon thinks it's a good idea for our first foray into parenthood to be with a younger child- pre-kindergarten. I'd be fine with up to age 8 or 9, though. But it is true that most of the kids in foster care are a little bit older than 3 or 4. Several of them are in sibling groups. Again, I'd love to go ahead and adopt two or three kids at once, but Brandon feels more prepared to take on one kid to start with. And I'm fine with that. I'm glad he has an opinion! :) And really, the ultimate goal is to adopt the child that you have the best ability to parent. Random book recommendation: check out Nia Vardalos's book Instant Mom. It's beautiful. And while you're at it, stop by the US foster kids website and pray for the kids there who are waiting for a permanent home.

India

Ohhhh, India. If you follow my other blog, you may have picked up on my love for India. I've been captivated by the culture since I was a little kid, and saw/read "The Secret Garden" and "A Little Princess" for the first time (which is weird because those are actually books about colonial times there. Still, it's what got me started.) I love India. Love it love it love it. I have so much respect for the people and the culture while at the same time routinely have my heart broken by the plight of kids there, particularly girls. I am getting choked up just thinking about it. I am pretty determined to get to India and bring home a child from there. I'd love to sign them up for cultural classes here in my city, like dance classes, and go out to eat at the Indian restaurants as a family, and try to go back to their home country for a visit every few years. The thing about India, though, is that there are levels of preference for adoptive parents. I read one blogger describe it as its own sort of caste system, but I think saying that minimizes the struggles of those actually living in India's lower castes. Anyway. The top tier is Indian parents living in India. The second tier is Indian parents living outside of India. The bottom tier is everyone else, everywhere else. So the wait might be longer. And it's my understanding that we'd have to be willing to accept a slightly older child or a child with more severe special needs (there will be another post coming up about that!) We'll see how things work out, though.

Haiti

I love Haiti. I love supporting Haiti. I pray for Haiti. I hope that I get to go there someday, whether or not we have a child from there. My interests in Haiti was sparked after the 2010 earthquake, and I am absolutely in love with my little buddy A, who was adopted from there. I think I've prayed for him and about his homecoming more than anyone else in my life. He's been home for almost two years now! I like following the children's home he used to stay at and supporting as many Haitian ministries as I possibly can. Haiti's adoption process takes a loooong time (it's gotten longer and more complicated in recent years) and there is an age requirement for applicants. We're almost old enough now, though, so that might not be a deciding factor in the end. I recommend you check out Children of the Promise, where A lived, and pray for the team there as well as all the precious little babies. I love looking at them. And I love the fact that COTP's primary focus is on keeping families united- many "orphanages" would just go ahead and take a sick child brought in by a parent unable to pay for medical care and put them up for adoption. But COTP's goal is to help the birth family first, and they help the kids get healthy so they can go back home. And that's really neat.

I'm not really going to rule any country out at this point, because if we are truly called to go some place, then that's where we'll go. I can tell you that I am pretty confident that it won't be Eastern Europe, though, or many of the countries in South and Central America. I still care about the kids there and am praying for them, but I don't think we are meant to go there. And there are a couple of countries that I'm starting to look into and read about and see what comes up- countries that hadn't really been on my radar before, like Thailand and Taiwan. We'll see where we land!

Please join me in praying for guidance and discernment. Pray that God will make our path abundantly, blazingly bright and clear, so that we can move forward with confidence and a sense of peace.